What Should I Tell My Kids During a Divorce in California?
Children represent the top priority for many divorcing parents in California. After it becomes clear that your marriage is no longer viable, your first thoughts might go to your kids. How will they handle the divorce? How should you break this news to them? How do you explain why and how the marriage failed? Should you keep them updated about legal developments? When communicating with your children during divorce, it is important to consider various factors including seeking guidance from the team of California child custody attorneys at RM Law Group to ensure their well-being and legal rights are protected:
Tips for Breaking the News
The Child Mind Institute recommends that both parents meet with their children and inform them about the divorce together. This helps create a “united front” that stresses the continued togetherness of the family. If you take your child aside and inform them about the divorce without your ex present, your child may feel unsure about what the other parent thinks.
Parents can also reduce potential conflict by agreeing on a “script” ahead of time. This helps you determine exactly what to say. More importantly, it helps parents avoid interrupting and speaking over one another. Even if you feel uncertain about the future, most child psychologists agree that it helps to project a feeling of confidence.
Avoid Blaming Your Ex
It is best to avoid playing the “blame game” when explaining the reason for your divorce. From a purely psychological perspective, this disrupts the all-important sense of unity between parents. Blaming one parent creates a serious conflict within a child, forcing them to “take sides.”
From a legal perspective, blaming your ex for the divorce is also problematic. Family courts in California may consider these insults when determining custody. If you are trying to “alienate” your child from your ex, this strategy can easily backfire. Generally speaking, family courts reward parents who show a willingness to cooperate with one another. In contrast, those who seem combative may receive less favorable custody decisions.
You May Need to Consider Their Preferences
When communicating with your child during divorce, you may need to consider their preferences. In California, most family courts allow children to make their own decisions about who they want to live with. In most cases, a child 14 or older can express their preference in court. However, judges are under no obligation to grant custody based on these preferences alone – and they consider various factors when deciding custody cases. If your child wants to live with one particular parent, you should encourage them to express these preferences. If you attempt to prevent them from voicing their opinion, you could experience negative consequences.
Find a Divorce Lawyer in Pico Rivera
You may find it easier to communicate effectively with your children after contacting a child custody lawyer in Pico Rivera. Speak with the team of child custody attorneys in California at RM Law Group today or call us at 866-706-3160 to learn more about child-related factors during divorce – including parental alienation, custody issues, and much more. After a consultation with us, it may be easier to lead your children into the next chapter of their lives. Reach out today to get started.
Sources
Jason Martinez is a co-founding partner of RM Law Group, LLP. His practice focuses exclusively on California Family Law and community property division, including litigation and settlement of complex and high-conflict divorce and child custody proceedings. Jason understands that divorce and family law issues have long-term effects on all family members, especially the children.
